We compete because we want to win. The inherent aspect of competition is that of doing one’s best to achieve the ultimate goal. When we were young, we were given rewards for just participating in an event; maybe it was a ribbon or a medal. Coaches and parents were thrilled to see us happy. In the process, we unconsciously learned that getting ribbons was a very pleasant experience worth repeating. As we grew up, we found that getting ribbons became harder and harder as the competition intensified. We also learned that there were noticeable differences in our coaches’ or parents’ facial expressions when we did not get a ribbon.
As long as we compete hoping to see happy faces from coaches or parents, athletes are bound to add a lot more pressure onto themselves. In my experience, I see young athletes being overly concerned with the kind of facial expression coaches or parents will show. They are hoping to see happy faces again, but that means needing to win. As they push themselves to win, inevitably they realize that such a goal is difficult to achieve. Their competitors are also seeking their own ribbons. They also want to see their coaches’ and parents’ happy faces. In the process, young athletes may develop frustration and thoughts of quitting.
There is a lot of research that points out to the value of intrinsic motivation. This is the kind of motivation that comes from within rather than from outside sources. Athletes push themselves to succeed because they find personal meaning in the sport they practice. They have the inner satisfaction about competing because they feel identified with the sacrifices it takes to be a great athlete. They see obstacles and challenges. They set goals that are challenging, but also rewarding. And, when they do achieve their personal goal, they take the time to celebrate it.
They feel their step by step accomplishments as a growing process that will ultimately lead to their desired goal. Rather than overly focusing on the end results such as the ribbon or the happy faces, they concentrate on accomplishing the smaller steps. They have learned that paying attention to the smaller steps is something they do have control over. They do not have control over people’s facial expressions, and if they think that control is achieved by having to win, then that recipe is not a guarantee.
To develop intrinsic motivation:
1- Focus on small steps that will challenge you.
2- Make sure you reward yourself when you achieve your goals.
3- Provide meaningful feedback emphasizing behavior, skill, mental processes.
4- Be kind to yourself if you did not meet a goal. Just adjust it and keep going.